Feedback Focus

I tried out three techniques in order to help me concentrate on the stories I read so I can give good feedback about the story. I like reading aloud to hear how the word sound. I have done this technique a few times, although it was more for fun than analysis. I know I noticed names that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. I was able to hear how the sentences flowed together. I feel I have a good awareness of the story, because reading aloud caused me to read the story slower and more in depth. I am not sure if this technique was better than reading it silently, though. The copy and delete technique worked pretty well for me. I was able to note my thoughts after each paragraph. I'm not sure if I noticed more than reading out loud, but I wrote more than I did. I think this technique would work better with making notes about the story, but reading out loud may help me notice more. The timer technique felt a little long, but I like the idea of reading the story two or three times in order to get the most out of the story. The copy and delete strategy was the most useful, then the timer one, then the reading out loud one.
I think all three of these strategies helped me see each story in a different light and helped me pick up on certain details in each story. For the copy and delete strategy, the advantage is being able to instantly write down my notes about the story. The disadvantage is having to stop after each paragraph, which can disrupt the story. For the timer strategy, the advantage is reading the story multiple times and picking up on different aspects of the story each time. The disadvantage is the reading seems to be too long, at least for the size of the story. For the reading out loud strategy, the advantage is hearing how the story flows and picking up on how words sound. The disadvantage is I am not sure it made much of a difference in how I read the story.
I would certainly like to try a combination of all three. Perhaps I could read aloud the story a few times and write notes about each time I read it and what I noticed. I am confident these techniques will help in my reading notes and also when reading classmates' works. 

Image information: Cactus Reading taken by Sergey Klimkin, 2015. Web source: Pixabay

Storytelling Week 4: Death by Marriage

"Till death do us part"

I knew I would regret saying those words as soon as they came out of my mouth.

I put off marriage as long as I could, but eventually it needed to happen. I made certain I chose the most healthy, least annoying man in my town to be my husband. Perhaps then I could have a chance.

I thought wrong.

A few months after our wedding, my husband died from illness, taking me with him. I tried to leave the city, but too many people have tried this before and the king made sure I didn't leave. See, the king believed because of the "love" between a husband and wife, if one died, the other was buried with them. A merciful act, supposedly, so that they would not have to live on alone.

But I didn't love my husband. Certainly I was sad when he died, but I could very well go on with life without him. This I tried to explain to the king, who replied, "I understand that you are scared, young woman, however you would not be able to survive without him for very long. I am helping you, even if you cannot see it."

He was not helping. He was a sick man who took pleasure in taking the lives of his people. He was a tyrant, but one who held the fear of the people. They've seen what he has done to people who lost their spouses; I can only imagine what he would do to rebels.

So, three days after my husband's death, as they prepared to lower him into the grave, I said my last goodbyes, as I would be going with him.

"We come to mourn for Sara," the king proclaimed in an emotionless tone, "whose husband Aaron died tragically. May they both rest in peace."

I could almost swear I saw a smile playing on his lips. But before I could say or do anything, two men placed me on a plank of wood next to my husband's wrapped body. They handed me some food and water, only enough for three days. Why they do this, I am not certain, however it seems to be the king's way of drawing out the torture. Then they handed me a knife, in case I wanted a swifter death. I was glad for the knife, if it meant I wouldn't have to suffer too long.

Down they began to lower us, my dead husband and me. I looked up at my last glimpse of the sky before the plank touched the ground and the men up above sealed off the opening. 

I was in darkness. Why they couldn't have given me a torch I don't know. Once my eyes adjusted, however, I could see a sliver a light coming from the opening on the ceiling. It was enough that I could see an outline of the food and water, and also of my husband's body.

I quickly grabbed the bag of food and moved farther away from the body. I didn't want to think about how that was going to be me in a few days. I felt me way around me, and soon found the knife in its sheath. I grabbed the hilt and pulled it out.

I could end it right now. It would be easy, and I wouldn't have to stay down here. I put the knife to my chest.

One.

Two.

No.

I can't give up without making sure it's my last hope. There must be a way out of here. So I searched through the cave with minimal light to guide my way.

It had to have been at least three or four days that I searched. My food was almost out and I was out of hope.

The covering of the opening suddenly came up and light shone throughout the cave. I smiled and almost laughed at the sight of it, before I realized why it was opening. Another person had died, and their spouse was about to die as well.

A thought occurred. This person would have food and water. They were already going to die, so I could put them out of their misery, take their food, and continue for a little longer. I grabbed my knife and moved back into the shadows so the person being lowered wouldn't see me.

As soon as their plank touched the ground, the covering shut and everything was pitch black again. I breathed in and out until I could finally see somewhat in front of me. The person stayed still, and I think their back was to me. Slowly and quietly I crept behind them, my knife raised. Once I was close enough, I raised my knife higher for the plunge.

I stopped there. What was I doing? I'm no murderer. I can't take their life to save myself. I back away and dropped my knife.

The person must have heard, because they turned. "Is someone there?" It was a man.

I hesitated before speaking. “It’s Sara. I’m still alive.”

“Sara! How are you still here? It’s Terrence.”

“Terrence?” The boy I grew up with, who was always so quiet and shy, married? “I’m so glad to hear your voice.” I was almost in tears. I wasn’t alone anymore. I told him what I had been doing for the past few days.

“So, is there a way out?” He asked.

“I haven’t found one yet…”

Terrence stood up and grabbed his sack of food. “Well then, let’s keep looking. Here.” He handed me some food.

“No, that’s yours.”

“But you need it more.”

I smiled a little and took the food, my stomach growling hard. There were a few more tunnels I hadn't searched, so I lead Terrence down them.

It had been about a day and we still hadn't found a way out. I was beginning to lose hope of escaping. Suddenly, Terrence began to run forward.

“What is it?” I called after him.

“I thought I heard something,” he yelled. So I ran after him, not really hoping for much.

The cave began to get lighter, however, and before I knew it, I could see an exit. Tears began to fill my eyes as I ran out of the cave and into the world. The forest ahead of me was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.

“We did it, Terrence. We’re free. We’re alive.”

Author's note: I read the Voyages of Sindbad for this week's reading. One story that stuck out to me was the story of Sindbad's fourth journey, when he arrives on an island which has a law that when a husband or wife dies, their spouse is to also die. I thought this was an interesting concept, so I rewrote Sindbad's experience, but made Sindbad a girl and created her to have grown up on this island. I also wanted her to not kill the second person who comes into the grave cave, as Sindbad did. I wanted this story to feel more personal that Sindbad, and I hope I accomplished that. 

Bibliography: This is a retelling of the Fourth Voyage of Sindbad in the Voyages of Sindbad by Andrew Lang. From the unit Sindbad.   

Image 1 information: "Woman Standing at Cave Opening" by Joshua Sortino, 2015. Web source: Pexels

Image 2 information: "Cave View River Valley out of Stream Water" by Unsplash, 2014. Web source: Pixabay

Reading Notes: The Voyages of Sindbad, Part B

Continuing The Voyages of Sindbad, I found more fascinating stories. The fifth voyage is the most odd so far. An old man uses his legs to force Sindbad to carry him. This is certainly not a story one hears every day. I appreciate the uniqueness of this, as a hero is not normally reduced to carrying a goblin around. This is certainly not something I would think of.
By the sixth voyage, I am even more unsure of why Sindbad doesn't just stay home. I wonder what his friends and family think after hearing all about his voyages and then seeing that he keeps wanting to go on more voyages. I would think he was insane. Perhaps I could write a story from one of their perspectives. Every time, Sindbad is the only one who survives out of the crew. It seems he is either lucky or this is all very unrealistic. Without him, though, the story would not continue. I am glad Sindbad is able to find friends and help when he most needs it, although it makes the story more interesting when he makes enemies instead of friends.
The seventh voyage is very interesting, and with pirates! It's horrible that Sindbad had to kill an elephant. I wonder what would have happened if he had refused. He does not seem to be in a hurry to escape enslavement, which is odd to me. I honestly think the elephants should have killed him for him having killed many of them. However, I suppose there would be no story of he died there. I'm glad though in the end, Sindbad was able to live a happy life.
This story is completely different that the Dreamworks version, but it was still very good and interesting. I found some good ideas, although not as many as I usually do. Hopefully the story that comes out of Sindbad is a good one.

The Voyages of Sindbad, Andrew Lang. Source Link: Part B

Image information: "Rocweb" by Henry Justice Ford, 1898. Web source: Wikipedia Commons 

Reading Notes: The Voyages of Sindbad, Part A

I chose The Voyages of Sindbad for this week’s reading. I had not known much about the story of Sindbad, other than the Dreamworks' animated film, so I was eager to read this story. 

During Sindbad’s first voyage, I am left with so many questions, for instance, how did they not realize the island was a whale? How did Sindbad not get eaten by a shark? Why does the captain not recognize Sinbad? So far, although it is not realistic, this is an interesting story, and not what I expected.
In the second voyage, I enjoy the magical elements of this story, like the giant birds and giant snakes. I'm still finding it hard to understand why Sindbad is going through all of these voyages. It seems to be boredom which spurs him. It could be intriguing to write about a hero who is constantly doing heroic deeds, yet is constantly bored.
In the third voyage, Lang's description is really vivid. I love the way he describes the cyclops giant's appearance. It's much different that Homer's cyclops, even though it seems evident that Homer's Polyphemus from The Odyssey was the inspiration for this cyclops. I like that the story of Sindbad takes inspiration from Homer.
By the forth voyage, you would think Sindbad would get tired of almost dying all the time. After almost getting eaten by a giant and snakes, cannibals honestly seem the most terrifying. I wonder why cannibalism is so terrifying. Perhaps because humans are not meant to eat one another, and so when people do, it is horrifying. In addition to the cannibals, this voyage is the most interesting so far because of Sindbad’s marriage. Marriage as a death sentence is such an ironic plot. This would actually make an interesting short story. I'm not sure how I would go about writing about this, but I like the idea and the challenge.

The Voyages of Sindbad, Andrew Lang. Source link: Part A
Image information: "Sindbad's Storybook Voyage" by Joel, 2016. Web source: Flickr